sooooooo exhausted!!!
i juz cleaned my room!!
it's super duper dusty like mad!!
goodness gracious!!
cleaned the floor.....used like dunno how many magiclean wipes..
n then the coffee table dusty too!!
n then that stupid fan is full of dust...
n that's y it's making my room darn dusty........
so..i decided to clean that fan....
tongyan told me to stack the chair on my bed or get a guy to do it..
well...both r too troublesome...so i did a "dangerous stunt"..haha
actually seriously think it's kinda dangerous...
i'm qt scared of falling down when i was cleaning it..
took everything off my coffee table n then stack that small ikea kid stool...
gosh..
when i was cleaning it...i'm so scared that stool will slip man.....
oh wells...but i can't stand the dust on the fan...so yup...
now the fan's clean!!
the room's clean!!
=D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
yest went to sentosa with my s11 og...
ahah...oh wells...lucky i'm qt smart...predicted them that they'll be late..
ha! n i'm right...
initally they wanted me to meet them at 11am...
but in the end they met at 2pm..
super slow sia..
lucky i'm late..haha....
but even so..
i'm earliest gal..
gosh....imagine letting the ogl wait!! ahha..
dunno y the gals in this og so not onz....
oh wells..
so i was with a bunch of njc guys who juz took their A levels..
aahha...kinda weird....
played abit of vball...
then some guys wanted to play soccer n being the only gal there not so interested in kicking a vball, i decided to go suntanning myself!!
haha..
madness...
so i juz find a good spot, took off my top (of cuz i have my bikini inside lah..lol)
so juz lie there.................
after abt an hr or plus...went back to the resort to stone as the guys set up the fire...
oh wells...
after a long while...the gals finally came......
but i got to go.....
so talked a bit n left for ntu to celebrate ch's bdae!!

so...met the class n went to ys n xs's hostel with the cake n snacks....
n all thanks to jeremy's great idea...we were all busy blowing up balloons that night..
ahah...
that stupid guy actually wanted to fill up the WHOLE room with balloons!!
so that ch can't see us when he enter...
ahah/......how is it possible??!! hahah....that silly jeremy...
oh wells...
but we indeed managed to blow so many balloons that it can fill up the entire floor!!!
it's so hard to walk!!
ahahahhaha.....
then after much effort....we stack the balloons to a corner...
n me huimin jeremy huiqi geoklan aloy all hide inside.....hahahah
then xs sat on a chair with the cake n lighted candles n suppose to sing an eerie happy birthday to u when ch steps in....n after that we'll jump up from the balloons n con't the song!!
ahahahahah....
oh wells....it's so damn fun!!!
with all the balloons..
ahahah...
03s02 always has such crazy ideas!! i guess we r still kids at heart...haha..
ch nearly spoilt the whole plan by not coming...n he made yat so angry...
ahah...
the plan was actually like this....
ch n yat got cheerlead until 12am..n since they dun stay in hostel...they decided to stay over at ys there.....
but then he'll be surprised to see all of us there!!
but then that stupid ch told yat after training that he's going to hall 2 to help out the cheerlead banner...then he walked off liao..leaving yat alone n dunno what to do...n yat had to call us...n we had to think of ways to make that stupid ch come..hahaha...
so in the end..ys had to call ch n tell him that yat's angry n pls go find her...
well..lucky ch went..haha...n ys persuaded him to come n see hiao xs...haah
yeah! so everything was as planned in the end!!
hahah
n we had great fun!!
hitting each other with balloons n stuff..hahahaa
then we went to extension to drink some stuff...such a long walk there n back!!!
n we were singing at the top of our voices as we walked back..hahah...
oh wells....we juz love singing....hahah....
then i cannot tahan liao...slept a bit...
then we called mac delivery....slept a bit more..n then me hq n ys went to deflate all those balloons...hahaha.....
came back hall one to bathe n go out with xs ys jer n aloy..haha...
long time since i went out with them...
it's actually a long time since i hanged out with the nj class.....
dunno what i'm bz with man...
oh wells....damn tired....but it's so much fun!!!

got to sleep early soon...tmr got to wake up 6am!! 7am start bball training!!

oh..the moment i enter..thot i saw my cousin...
but oso not sure...
this time is the sis..last time it's her bro..
hah..
maybe one day i'll really meet them at some club or pub..
n then..hmm.....
hah i oso dunno...but can imagine them to be surprised...
oh wells...i am so different when i'm at home n when i'm outside....

5 tequila shots n 1 flaming lumborghini...
hiong night...
but at least i managed to try that flaming lumbor...hah...
thanks to someone...
hahah...
ok...think i qt bad lah....狮子大开口。。。
can see their face change immediately the moment i say i want lumbor..hoho
=P
but fun night!
haha...

another sleepless nights.......
n sometimes when u can't sleep...
some things juz slipped into ur mind...

n tonight....
i thot of him....
imagining him to be like me...in uni...probably went thru jc...
maybe acjc....haha...cuz think he suits the acjc look...
tanned...tall...good build...n most impt of all...
his eyes.....captivating...attractive...
so many years have passed n yet i can still remember how beautiful his eyes were....
n he'll be a buddy to his frens n a gentleman to gals....
hahah...i make him sound so good....
i oso imagine me calling his phone n probably saying this "hey! bored...come out leh..."
will all this happen?
maybe i imagine it to be too perfect...
hahahha....
but i know this will nv happen...because it cannot.

i was not close to him....
but once in a while...like tonight...i'll think of him...
n everytime i'll imagine how he'll look like n how is he like if he was still ard...

i dun rem the funeral....
i only rem the night when i received the news.......
a clear night....with v bright stars...with a particular bright star.....
i thot i heard wrongly...i thot ma was joking when she whispered the news to me....

it juz happened like that...
n i dun even know exactly the cause of it....
i dun dare to ask...
n i'm afraid of meeting his mom....
i'm scared of breaking her heart...reminding her of his son.....
til now...i still dunno what to do if i meet her........

maybe after a few yrs...i'll forget...or will i?
sometimes i forgot ur name.....n i feel guilty of that....
gordon.
i dun want to think so much abt it...n yet i dun want to forget everything....
hahah...i'm such an idiot...
i have so few memories of u..
i can even count them with my fingers...
maybe i'm beginning to forget....cuz some of them seem to blur...


sleepless nights....
i hate sleepless nights.....

sianz.....
y is it so troublesome to go out with guys..
they always can't make up their mind as to where they go n stuff..
n i have to make the decision...
goodness gracious...............
haiz.....

oh wells..
it's kinda confirmed that i'm a blunt person in the past...
but oh wells..that's in the past....
they all said i've changed....a lot.
since i went jc....
oh wells...
if i've changed for the better...
guess that's good.........
but hmm...juz that i din know i was that blunt last time...
paiseh to all those who had to tolerate me n if i kinda hurt ya...
i really din mean to...
well...
yuanie n jess said it's prob due to the bad temper.....
cuz when i'm in bad mood..i juz can't be bothered n juz shoot at anyone..
so yups...
they say since my temper become better....everything's else better...
so the bad mood's the main cause...
oh well....
thanks to all those frens who had to tolerate my bad temper in the past but u r still here with me...yups....
i love u pple!!
=)

ok...din make pancake in the end...hahaha
cuz i can't wake up!!
\hahaha...cuz the weather's so nice!!!
so i juz con't to snuggle in my bed til 1pm..until i heard my aunt n uncle's voice in the living room...hohohoho

but i finally watched more than love!!! 再说一次我爱你。。。
andy's so shuai!!!
wohhoooo..
think i like charlene now...she's not bad actually...in the movie...
hmm...
actually the plot's pretty simple...in fact the storyline's a bit old n common...
but the way they make it...it's nice....hah....oh wells....

i'm bored...
no one to go out with me...
poor me............
ok...if tmr i din manage to find someone to go out...
then this is what i'm going to do...
1. wake up in the morn
2. go to lib n get myself a book
3. go to the supermarket n get ingredients for pancakes
4.make pancakes! (uber then??!!lol)
5. read my book as i eat my pancake

ok..this will take up one day...right?
loner me......
prob i shld get a bf soon....wth....

hmm....
suddenly i begin to wonder if i'm considered a frank person...
hahhaha....
well...
juz happened to come across a box of old stuff that i kept...
juz opened it up yest night...n found a piece of paper...
it's a list of things about me.....
i forgot who wrote it....haha...but i rem it's for some np stuff....
we always got such things....
oh well...anyway...
one of the characteristics that i possess....frankness....
am i???? well...that word "frank" kinda make me raise my eyebrow when i saw it...hahahah....
n then juz now....was reading aki's n jiaying's blog...
n they make me think further...am i really a frank person???
well..according to jiaying...seems like she thinks so.....
cuz..according to her....i seem to be the only one who tell her stuff that other pple don't......
hmmmm...
am i????
i nv see myself as a frank person b4...
in fact...i always think abt what i'm going to say next...
as in...if i'm going to tell someone abt sth(esp sth that's impt)..i'll consider the consequences of saying them...
what are the impacts.???
will it help or hurt her more???
cuz i know sometimes....the truth hurts....
so...i'll weigh the consequences first.....
i believe some things need to be said but some are left better unsaid and some are useless even if u said it...
so....am i frank person???
what ya think???

happy birthday to gloria!!!!!
happy birthday to chonghan!!!! (someone celebrating in tw sia... i heard....)

went out with glo jy n serene today!!
long time since i last saw them...
well..actually out main purpose was to lure gloria away from her home...while her bf deco her room n give her a surprise for her bdae!!
ok..n i really wanted to join jy n acc glo for her bdae at home but then...
kena sensitive nose attack somehow...
couldn't stop sneezing...
so i had to go home....no choice....
but anyway...went to shops that i nv went b4!!
jy brought us to this toy shop which is so fun!!
the things inside were so cool! but of cuz...ex...haha...what do u expect??!!
envious of children nowadays....that is if they got rich parents who can afford the things inside...oh wells...
anyway...the thing that interest me in that shop is this....erm....
i dunno what is it call....er....gloria can u help???
anyway...it's sth like the inside of a musical box...
so..when u turn the handle...there's music!!
haha...there's so many different pieces of music u find there!!
some are sold out!!
but the ones i like are...the pink panther..raindrops falling on my head...n the nutcracker suite!!
gosh...
the thing really attracts me.....
feel like getting one....but it's $12.90...
well..come to think of it....it's not really ex..for such a thing...but then...
oh well...it's not practical...yea???
but it's so nice!!!!
gosh.....
haiz.......

i got this from jess's blog....think it's kinda sad in a way...how pple in this world can be cruel...not in a way such as abusing n violence etc...
it's a subtle cruelty thru small actions, opinions n words.
pls read this with an open mind.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.

The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ohya...met vincent yest in the mrt to cityhall..
well..
he got a funky hairstyle n a dangling earring on one side..hah....
oh wells...
hah..
so kinda chit chat with him...
juz felt that he resemble someone...
hahha....
his look?? a bit lah...
but i guess it's the character or maybe the way he talk...or juz sth in him lah..
hhah...
from our talk..think he's kinda emotional n sensitive kind...guess it's this part that's make me think so ba...
but...vincent's at least more vocal....
lol........dotz dotz...

my right thumb huuurrrrtttttsssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dunno if it's the bone or muscle or dunno what..
it's been hurting since yest!!!!
i can't even hold my phone properly with my right hand now!!
shit it...
what shld i do!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
anyway...juz came back from east coast...
woke up at abt 7 to get there....
hah..for some fam day org by my pa's office...
well...a v long time since we had such an outing...haha..
kinda weird...
anyway...blade a bit with my dajie...good workout...
kinda tired now....
wonder if i shld join nj class later...
v long time nv c them liao leh...
but i'm tired....haiz...
think abt it first.....

aiyoooooooooooooooooooooo!!
the stupid blogger...my last post din come out!!
dotz dotz dotz dotz dotz dotz.........
ok..let me do it again......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
soooo...........................
wwwwoooooooooooooohhhhooooooooooooo-0000000000
i want to say again!!
exams over!!! (on tues)
right after exam i play until like dunno what....
din sleep n all that...juz keep playing..ahah
oso dunno how i dong one....
but i think i managed to catch back all my sleep today....
slept for 14 hrs.....
ok...let's c what i did....gosh
right after my last paper...
went back to hall n played mahjong until 9pm..
went for dinner..came back n watch "so u think u can dance"
wohooo..that one's great man....they can dance so well...
gosh...
cool totally....
then went back to mahjong until 6am..
din sleep...pack a bit of stuff n reached home at 9am...
slept until 2pm
went for haircut n threading n then shopping with dear jiaying...
n then back to hall n out at 10 pm to chiong...
which we did until 330am...
by the time i reached hall n washed up n slept...it's already 6am..
n then i woke up at 9am n went to meet my tutorial mates at 11am to watch harry potter!!!
gosh.....n then i'm back to hall again to pack my stuff....n took all my barang barang n went to meet my two sis n bro-in-law for shopping n dinner!!
woohooo....bought a pair of u.r.s shoes....niceeeeee!!
n dinner at out of pan is nice....unique crepes they have there....
finally i'm truly back home after 1 mth in hall...
haha........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
talking abt the chiong part...
qt happening that night..
then i went with ccube n alina n the two angmohs in our hall...robert n anderson..
ok kinda weird...haha....
robert nearly got into a quarrel or sth with another group guys at phuture...not really sure what went wrong...but can feel abit of tension rising up there....
but nah...nth happened in the end....
i mean the group can't possibly start a fight with him...look at robert's size...
he'll squashed them man...
guess that's sth good abt having them ard...hahah....
b4 they came n join us at the dance floor...
there were qt a few perverts ard us...tryin to close in bua and all that...
after they saw the angmohs...they dun seem to disturb us any more...haah..
but robert's up to no good too....ccube was trying to pushed him away...
phture was totally squeezy...
kena squashed inside man.....
oh...there's this adidas jacket guy who keep closing in....
n all of us tried all sort of things...elbow n pushing him away...but he din!!
wth...in end..i decided to step on his feet....
ahah...
din he saw but he prob thot it was an accident...
i'm juz so upset that i din wear my heels.....
haiz......
at the later part...the place's not so crowded liao..n we finally can dance properly..
that's when i start enjoying myself...yeah...
got to know this guy...james...he's qt cute!!hee....=P
but too bad he's short....a bit taller than me only...
that means only 1.6 sth...sad case...

harry potter was....hmm...not as good as the last one....but still like that...emma watson's is so pretty!!
wohoo...hah.....
think i'm going to buy the latest potter book afterall...
thou it's still qt ex..but since i got the last few..may as well collect them all....
oh well..........another hole in the pocket...
dunno how many holes i have already...
spent qt alot the last few days...forgot how i spent them....
gosh........

time:0401
waiting for my hair to dry...
totally exhausted...
wonder if i can survive????
goodness gracious....










can de!!!!!!
only pia these few days!!
once it's over..it's freedom!! n sleep...hahh...

had a damn weird dream yest.....
kinda satanic.....
it all started with me trying to repair my guitar...
went to qt a few shops but none seem to be able to do it..
finally went to one that manage to help me do it....
but it seems like they going to take days to repair it...
n at that pt of time i wonder why they need to take days when i juz want to change the strings...
(haha..in the dream oso can think so much...)
well anyway...i went off...
scene change n it seem like another day...
went to my own music school n the weird thing is all my coursemates r my classmates in that sch...
ok weird...
n siew ching started this thing abt me going satanic...
saw me kneeling in front of someone or sth...(i dunno) in a devoted kind of way...
n sth abt me taking sth satanic...
ok this part is kinda blur...
but anyway...pple start whispering to each other n shunning me...
while i keep trying to convince them that i'm not into some occult or whatever...
hahah..
but no one seems to believe me...
but there's this someone...i can't rem...a he or she?
always beside me...n seem to believe me n understand me...
hmmm...wonder....when i juz woke up i can rem who this person is...
but now..it's fading away....i can't rem the face....
so anyway...i think the scene changed again...
was in a place where there's a priest....but the place dun look like a church...
i took out sth from my bag n the moment i saw it...i have this bad feeling inside...
peel open n look...n i knew the others were right abt me going satanic...
n i was shocked...totally...
n i kinda realised/rem how i got that thing....
the priest came over...picked up that thing n look....
dun think i rem what's next....
hahaha...
but then...gosh...
what kind of dream is this...????
kinda scary when i think back.......
a long time since i got such weird dreams.......

oh...
talk abt a day when i met a fren...
think i walk past her on one morn but i din see her..
then she thot i dao her...
hey but then nv lo....
juz that i'm not a day person....esp not a morn person...
those who know me long enough know lo...
yuanie hor? edith hor??
in the morn or when i juz woke up...
i'm in a daze one...reaction slow...n dun talk much....
so i din see ah!! that's y i look dao eh...
hah...
aaaiiiiyyyyooooo.....
yuan1 wang4............

woo...juz came back holland v today!!
went essential brews again!!
haha...
ate lemon butter salmon..
woohooo......taste great man!! saliva still dripping when i think of it..
n i got this drink call berry flurry...
nice!!
sweet sweet one!!!
hahah......
then went coffe club for dessert..
me n dav shared a triple choc a la mode...(think that's the name lah...kinda long..can't rem...haha)
it's basically brownie n ice-cream on top...
n the others got mudpie...which was like ultimate huge!!!!
wonder how they manage to finish them...goodness gracious!!
but anyway...like the way they decorate the dessert...
brownie nicely stacked with the ice-cream n strawberry at the top....
ard it are choc syrup.....
the mudpie's simply designed...with choc powder sprinkled all over...
great presentation!!
hah...
well...i like things that look good...
food of cuz....所谓色香味俱全嘛。。。
good presentation of the food is appetizing!!
ahah.....
it's a sinful night man!
lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
n i got jay chou's latest cd liao!!!
hahaha....
listening to it now...
it's going to be on repeat mode for the whole night or even days man!!
hahaha....
talking abt the cd...
when i went to collect it right....
thot the cashier was a woman but then........
gosh....the nametag spelt gary...
er.......dotzz.....
he had his eyebrow trimmed like a gal....n i think he drew them....
n then he got nails longer than mine!!!
gosh!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
went nie like damn early today!!
reach there like 9am...haha
u think i'm ks??
no lo.....there are pple who went there even earlier!!
when i reached there....most of the tables are occupied liao!!!
goodness gracious!!
qt productive...finish what i aimed to finish...
ahah...but dunno if ok not...
for some i juz scan...kinda of sian to read in detail...hahaha

totally like a hermit...
hiding in hall n not leaving....
i'm dying...
hahha.......
happened to meet jimmy online....
seldom see him after he went army....
well...
it was damn long time since i last talked to him....
had a nice chat with him....
n i'm glad that we can still chat like this...
a funny r/s that we have...
known each other for qt long....2 or 3 yrs??
but we nv really meet up much or talk much...
always a once in blue moon meeting or chat...
haha.....
but i'm glad there's things to talk....
it's always nice to chat with an old fren...esp when u realise there's still things to talk abt even thou u nv really meet up much...
i like this kind of feeling.....

well....heard maybe he's coming to ntu like next yr...
think better meet him up after exam...