oh no!!!
cc's not coming back to sg liao!!!
he finally made his decision to stay in hk n study HKU...
oh no..
actually kinda sad n disappointed that he's not coming back..
cuz for the past few mths, i've been looking forward for him to come back...
haiz..
but now, he's going to be like seeman..another person whom i dunno when i'll c again...
but no matter what..it's his decision..i guess if he's happy, then of cuz i'll be happy for him!!
someday sometime somehow we'll meet again...

woo..
today's like huan2 dao3 zui zui zui..
haha..
woke up at 730 n reached the airport at nine to send seeman off..
she's going back for good...
going to study at HKU..if i'm not wrong...
yah..so won't be seeing her for like dunno how long..
dunno when's the next time we ever get to meet again...
haiz..
i guess in our lives, pple juz walk in n out of it...
when she went thru the departure gates, eve n serene cried...dunno if ming cried but i know she's said... they were best buds n partners man...
for me n others...it was ok...
prob cuz...thou we r squatmates, we r not as close as how ming is to her..
or prob cuz we r not that emotional...
or prob cuz we know that she had to go...for her future...it's not like we not going to c her again..
we will c her again..somehow some time...
or prob cuz..this yr i've sent qt a few frens off n that i've already learnt to take it abit easier..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
after sending her off... we went to lunch at bk...
n then joanna set off for parkway n me to clementi..
yuanie glo n jy went to town i guess..
so yup went to clementi to meet the class n ktv til 7..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
met kherray at night....ate her pizza at this douhua stall along serangoon rd..
i think we juz kinda rot there lah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so practically..i'm out for two thirds of my day..
haha...
but actually recenly i'll rather be out than in....

do u believe in spirits??
actually i do....
when i tell this some pple, they give me that kind of look..
mmm...but what i find it annoying is that...those who told me that they don't believe r actually pple who have a religion, who believe in their gods...
so...if u believe that god/gods exist, how come u don't believe spirits exist???
aren't u contradicting urself???
god (not refering to a particular religion or what...but as a general term) is also a spirit..
but he's often refered to as the sacred one, the holy spirit...
so god is also a spirit....
so how can u say u don't believe that spirits exist when u believe there's a god???
when u so believe in ur god, so faithful n yet u don't believe....
hahaha...ironical...
i don't have a religion..but since young, cuz of my family n the environment that i grew up in, i'm exposed to different religions...
i believe a god exist but last time cuz of the different cultures n living environment...pple imagine their god to be different..
but actually all religions r the same....they all tell u to do good deeds...be a good person n all that...
n i guess...
as long u r a good person..live an honest living and all that...it's good enough...
when i pray..i juz pray to my god...
i don't care how he/she looks like..
he/she is juz there...if i need him/her...
ok...
the above is a juz my little opinion lah...
u don't have to agree with me...n pls don't feel offended or what...cuz i know religious topics can be qt sensitive actually...ya..so i'm not criticising anyone or what but juz saying what i think..
yupyup...

mmm...
today work was kinda bored..
haiz...cuz half the pple's gone down to level 4...
esp kherray's team..
so sian...like that means i can't go over to their team n chit chat with all of them..
sianz...
so in the morn..they were trying to brief us what we were suppose to do..
but they damn dumb lo..
u think juz by saying, i can visualise meh..
haiz...
讲了也是白讲。。。
n cuz i slept late last night... i nearly feel asleep lah...
lucky it's not super damn long...
thot of quitting lah...
but that means i'll not be able to earn $$...so...为了钱，no choice....
was v tired n felt like sleeping after lunch..
but lucky i still got my qiang wei ost!!
haha..
haiz...nice songs..
the songs r damn touching...can get emotional n cry one lo..
haha...
think songs n music can affect qt alot..
haha..
if u want to c me cry...choose a song that touched me..
haha...

oh...
tired....had hiphop dance lesson juz now...
i think it's really getting better...thou kherray still thinks that it's kinda sian.....
but anyway think i shld try to pract....
oh!!
i want to talk abt yest!!
after work...
met jess n edith!!
went to bras basah to take a look at my watch..
n after looking for a damn long time..
i finally bought a fossil watch for myself!!!
so damn happy lo...haha...sometimes i really think i have to pamper myself..
i shld learn to love myself more!!!!
ok..then browse ard the books there..n then walked down to bugis..
had yoshi n then we finally got to meet marrisa n lingli..
haha..
that's qt a story to that..
then after that walk abit more..
took neoprints!!!
hahaha..
think me n jess nv take together b4...
but it turns out damn nicEE!!
haha...n we oso had a drink..sth like bubble tea like that....jess treated me to that cuz after buying that watch...i don't have money liao mah....
then cuz jess sort of sprained her ankle earlier on..
but anyway i had a damn great time with them!!!!!
so fun!!
think it's really damn xin fu to have 2 good frens to hang out..
juz walk ard..eat n sit down n talk...kinda thing...
wo shi xin fu de~~~~(juz rem this song by liang jing ru...haha)
n i finally got my qiang wei ost....
my bdae present from jess!!
but then hor...i think my discman cannot play leh...only com..
think i'll try again..hahah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
abt today..
lots of pple leaving iras...but i'm not la...want to earn money...
hehe...
yup..
then today qt slack lo..
cuz all the forms r done..
n everyone's in a not working mood..
hahaha....then...
after work....went to kherray's hse to pass time..
the two kids there at her hse so cute..
ok lah..the gal's damn scared of me n i dunno y...kherray say cuz i wore black..ahhah
the boy's damn curious abt me..haha...
i dunno y oso...

think i'm going to con't my guitar lesson afterall..
it's true that it's qt wasted to drop it now juz cuz i'm going to stay in a hostel....
yup..so went to find out which one i can go..
actually the person there rite..always thot she's a bit fierce..
but she's actually qt nice lo...hahah
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oh...my workplace kicking pple out....
if we can't work til mid july, or have to take long leaves, they r kicking us out this thurs..
but i'll juz work la...qt boring to stay at home plus no income...
n i really like working there cuz got frens..esp kherray jiaying xiuling sherri...
so at least not bad.. i think i'm staying cuz of them lo....
actually jiaying thot of quitting leh...cuz she say she nv really rest after As...
when she told me i was v sad....
but in the end she changed her mind...n she oso realised that it made her happier..haha
so cute!!!
yup yup..

went out with ys n xs today..
realised v long time nv go out with them liao..
mm..
but i was kinda tired cuz yest slept really late..
actually wanted to join yuanie for clubbing at rave..
got some party org by raf n her frens..
but dun think i shld go lah...
my sis oso think..
not the appropriate at this pt of time...
cuz my grandma's still in hospital..
so i think my pa will think that i'm v bad if i go out n play..
plus i think my pa's qt sensitive abt me going to clubs at this pt of time..
cuz..
in my grandma's ward...there's this patient who's in coma..
she's hospitalised cuz she fainted at a club after taking drugs...
n i think her frens v bad lo...when she fainted, everyone ran away without going to help her or call for an ambulance...cuz they afraid they themselves r caught..
what kind of frens they r man...??
i pity her lo...she's like v young..juz a few yrs older than us...

oh one more thing..
too long nv check email liao lo..
din realise my sis actually send me this email abt this north east extreme thing..
not sure what's the name..
but it sounds qt cool...
it's like amazing race..
n the prizes r damn attractive!!
5000 bucks for the winner!!
wow...
got chance one lo...
but today's the closing date liao..
can't possibly find 4 more others to join me now rite..
wasted....

arghh...nv practise my guitar...
i cut my hair anyway..at compass pt supercut..kherray recommend one..mm..
she's not bad...can consider go there again..
n i think it's time for me to colour my hair!!
but can't think of what colour yet......mmmm...
oh..then..
so what have i been doing for the past 5 days?
er.....
tues had a super long guitar lessons..haha..1 1/2 hrs....
but kinda sad..cuz i'm going to cute soon...
my "classmates" elene n kenny's actually v nice pple lo...
this 2 siblings always quarrel one lo....actually juz now met elene at the mrt station..talked to her abit n stuff...
then after my guitar lesson, met up with lingli for a while...actually she wanted to go cycling one..but decided not to cuz got lightning...
think she's a v musical person lo..she bought scores n that kind piano soothing cds...wow...
haha..cuz she don't look like that kind....
what did i do on wed??er...oh..think i went hougang library with kherray...cuz she want to find her pyscho text...but she din manage to find...
but i borrowed 2 books..one is a novel recommend by kherray lah...
the other one was sth i found by chance...it's call loving urself..
i guess i need that..
cuz...i think it's impt to love myself first...
guess...it's only when u start treating urself nicely will u treat others well too..
ahah..
i dunno...let me finish that book..hah
then we came across some recipes!! haha...found one that rely solely on microwave..haha
yest!! was qt happening lah..kherray n me took a day leave n we went ktv with her best fren serene...
they damn pro lo....their singing is like...wow!!
super damn pro lah.....haha...
so we sang until 4...went ps to eat long john...n then sent serene to the bus stop cuz she had to teach tuition...
then..got time to rot til our hip hop dance so decided to go to my hse to rot a bit...yup
the 2nd hip hop dance was actually better i think..the steps r nicer..haha...
hope it'll con't to be better in future...if not we sian sian n our $$ going to waste!!
haha...
oh..i oso want to talk abt work today...it's like shit lo!!
i'm super damn tired!!!!
what's with all the pple n the form man!!!
haiz....
so exhausting...but i guess i'll con't to work lah...
i'm a materialistic person who needs $$....hahahahhaha

damn sian now...juz reached home...
mmm..
actually i know whenever there's a peak to sth there will bound to be a cooling pt...
it's natural n once u r thru it, everything will be fine.....
i know i know i know.. i have experienced it so many times!
but i juz don't like the cooling pt process

read 月亮忘记了 by jimmy again...
mmm... i think i finally begin to understand it a bit....
but it's still v cheem..think i have to read it many many times b4 i truely understand it...
haha...
what a "simple" book with juz a few words but there's so much jimmy wants to tell thru these v few words...
it's actually qt exhausting to read it....
i'll nv open that book..unless i'm prepared n have enough energy...

“看见的，看不见了。
夏风轻轻吹过，在瞬间消失无踪。
记住的，遗忘了。
只留下一地微微晃动的迷离树影。。。。。

看不见的，看见了。
夏风轻轻吹过，草丛树叶翻舞飞扬。
遗忘的，记住了。
乌云渐渐散去，一道柔和的月光洒落在窗前。。。。。”

juz finished watching windstruck...
pretty good show...like the piano piece that she played...
a gentle sad one...
actually the show's a bit too draggy i think but there many sweet parts which i really like..
like on every book that the guy gave to her, he'll draw little pics on the top left hand corner of every page n whenever she flip thru the pages, it's like a little animation...
there's another one.. she'll nv play the black keys on the piano cuz of her twin sis but he knows she still love piano n so he painted the keys all white...
and i oso like the story abt promises by hooking pinkies...
the idea is sweet....

我到底在想什么！！！
我到底在干什么！！！
我要活得开心！！！！

刚起来。。但发现家里一个人也没有。。突然间感到有点寂寞。。
虽然我知道他们都到医院去看啊麽。。
突然觉得我有时真的（像老爸说的）是个没用的孩子。
家里若出了什么事，我想我什么东西都不会做。
在家里，我是个娇生惯养的不孝女。
haiz..我不知道自己在说什么。。。。

wow...haven't been here like..3 days!!
hah...been real bz!!! so bz n tired that i can sleep at 11 plus lo...haha..
this is cuz a new fren that i juz got to know at iras...ahha..
her name's kherray...what a unique name..at first i thot it was chi name cuz it sound like one..haha
but then i kuku lah huh..hahah
got to know her thru lydia...she's in lydia's team...
at first i think she's damn dao...n fierce...even more than me lo..
then don't dare to talk to her...hehe...
but then one day..she suddenly asked if i got a roommate n she suggested me rooming with her!!
ok seriously..i'm shocked...n i hesitated cuz..seriously..i dunno her..n she's look dao..(i said that liao...haha)
yup.. but anyway... tried to know her better n i think she's damn nice person..n i finally stopped thinking n worry like i usu do...n now... she's going to be my roommate!!!
hahaha....
these few days i'm like with her almost EVERYDAY!! (god...)
ok..let's c...mm....
MON: went with her town to buy her track pants..cuz she's going to hip hop dance classes n then i joined her by going to the cc to sign up after that!!
TUES: went compass pt to look ard n we bought the same top!!! haha... she bought it first n helped me to order one... hehe...
WED: was suppose to go tamp mall with her to get my top but then...got to visit my grandma at TTSH...so had to pangsei her..haiz..so paiseh...
TODAY: we went amk to return my comics n had dinner n went to hip hop class!!

i think she's like so zhao4 gu4 me...everytime she'll send me to the bus stop or the guitar lesson...so sweeeeeeett!!!

actually, sometimes i think that she's so like me...but she's more daring, more outspoken, more expressive than me ba...
i also not sure abt the similarities btw us..mm..maybe it's my feelings again..haha...
or i juz dunno how to express in words as usu..
ohh!! n it's such a small world!! we r from the same mavis tuition class back in sec sch!!
hahahah...
wow...can't imagine man...
lalalalalaalalallaalal~~~~

went canoeing today!!!
haha really glad i went!!
got myself tanner n i think i look better if i'm tanner...hahaha
it's qt fun today lo..went with weiting n shiyun...
then we join this group for expedition... canoe from changi to pasir ris...
really had fun man...the pple there all v nice n fun...
n i joined 2 star canoeing course!!
yepyep!!
next time can use dancer liao..no need use that old n heavy thing..hahaha
lala...
met some of the pple at the bus stop n we all took the same bus..
wow..think they damn zai...2 yrs younger than us but they more pro lo...wow..
n they r v nice pple...outgoing n v jian4 tan2...
wow..qt excited abt the 2 star...realised that i still like that sport man..haha
lalalallalaalal